With the anniversary of my dear friend's last message coming up, I think it's fitting to have finally cut off a terrible influence in life.
Every time that I detected a slight from people I trust, it was because I instantly detected the words of Judas, and went into the offensive, he... always drove me to hate the ones I cherished, including my dear friend. Many were caught in the crossfire, whenever I released the anger that boiled up around Judas, none of them deserved that misplaced anger.
So, I finally put my foot down and cut him off... and it is liberating. The closest I've felt to absolute freedom in years.
Can't say I'll never blow up or have a meltdown again, life can be unpredictable, but now just... knowing why and who the real target of those emotions was, and keeping him in mind from now on, I will steel my resolve to do better.
My heart has been filled with so much hatred over the years, and it's time to truly empty it. Before I can heal one soul, I need to heal my own.
